Well, it's been more than a year since i last blogged.

I guess things just got too busy after that, everything changed..
The HSC for one, which was a time that was unlike anything I'd ever experienced. The pressure, the fear of the results and the future..I had no idea what would happen and where I would be in one year.

Well I made it, im 18, I've moved once, got a job, gone through a long unexpected breakup, lost myself and did things i never want to repeat, started uni, met new people, met the most amazing guy ever.., got fired, got a new job, madly in love, but still fucked up..thats about it.

I was sitting here tonight, and I guess i was just thinking too much. You know those, emo/reflective moods where you feel all shit and useless, and how you're not doing enough etc etc. Its just that... this year, everyones just sorta drifted apart.

I kept telling myself thats its inevitable, but i cant take it anymore, I miss everyone. I miss all the girls from high schools, and the memories we had i cant forget. Im over not making an effort, and i will now..There are people i just dont want to loose. And there are people who i really dont care if i dont talk to again..

Im just putting things in perspective for myself. I find myself in such shit moods sometimes with no one to talk to. Well.. there ARE people who i always talk to, but sometimes i need a different opinion and i need a change.

Bah, enough thinking. A loooooong week awaits no rest this week at all, except for wednesday and sunday night. Oh well, im hardcore like that, and im totally broke.

overnout. 

Right now, I  need a hug, I need to feel the warmth of his arms around me, it always makes me feel so safe and happy..I miss him so much <3

NOTE TO SELF:

I need to get a new blog. Tooooo many memories on this one, and all the info on the side just makes me think even more. Sigh.

Some people are so fucked up sometimes...- - Im so sick of everyone and everythiing...of whingeing and lying and pretending and urgh..im so over it all. Why cant this whole charade we make just come to an end?

--
Moving on, soooooo HSC exams are drawing ever closer and we're all diligently not studying xD

Cbf blogging, its so fricken cold! Damn weather, spring comes and its totally warm for like 2 days and everyones like 'Wooo i can wear a skirt and go to the beach etc etc..and THEN BOOOOM..rain, wind, thunder, freeeeeezing day after day. =(

This week flew by soooo quickly. Full of formal, afterparty, frend dramas, people pissing people off...watched the Tempest at The Opera House for english..twas goood i supposed. Cool take on the set and characters. **snaps** for the director. lol

Today just went to the city w/ Rei coz i wanted to get some new foundation finally. Walked around, wasted an undisclosed amount of money on his Gundam, went to Dymocks..got yet another book to read, then headed to Myer where i chose which  foundation id get. In the end I ended up buying Dior scult foundation and a black diorshow mascara and got some new little sockette thingies..since all the rest of mine just rip - -.

OH well...best go off and do something actually useful. lol

solongfarewell
Kettles~

I promised myself Id document these last months, days of schoooool..but obviously yours truly has been naughty. Haha..speaking of naughty, im not the only one. XD

Letsee whats happd lately thats worth a mention.
PARTIESS!! YEAH haha thats the life *nods

*AGES POST TRIAL SHINDIG*
Wooooooooo fukn crazy haha nah basically it was a nite to get trashed after trials. To drink and forget all our results and the very common failures (english anyone?) and yea..that just about sums it all up. As do the pics below.

Me, Reiness, Mark and Bosic

Me & Bemma's emo shot..lol


Need i say more..?

*ANNIES 18th DEBUT AT MENZIES HOTEL*
Wow...could the night have been anymore perfect i ask you?
Everyone arrived at Annies for pre party craziness which included the girls running around like headless chickens trying to pack on all the makeup we could get our hands on. Haha, nah we all looked mighty fine if i do say so myself.
The night was one to remember for sure. Our cotillion dance was tres memorable for all of us im sure, thanks to ANNIE, auntie tess (lol), all da boys and girls and yea. The venue was great, heavenly food, Annie's massive cake which had its own water feature, swans, a statue on top and 2 bridges linking 2 smaller cakes to one big one.
Im sure everyone loved the dance that we slaved away for, and it was all worth it in the end.
THANKS ANNIE FOR EVERYYYYYYTHING! HAPPY 18th!! :D


Awww..the boys all look so handsome..lawl


Dance dance dance..


Drinks in the limo..yes, the limo XD


All the cotillion dancers =]

*KARINA's 18th BDAY HORROR THEME PARTY*

Went all out for this one. Well well, my dear pal Karina turned 18 not so long ago and i was eagerly awaiting the bash. Wooo a chance to get dressed up in a Morticia costume ehehehe. The night was faaaaaantastic, great to see MOST ppl dressed up. Thats how i want it for MY 18th! Wooo hahah fill you in on the plans as it all comes to me.
So yea, night was a great time to witness the inner alcoholic come out in my usually quiet and tame friends, always a happy sight. xD


Me and ney the druggie.


Love the talcum powder look guys.


Yea yea..


Karina and meeeee


HAHa i this this foto says it all...except, i really wouldnt mind if i NEVER STUCK MY HEAD IN ANOTHER TOILET BOWL IN MY LIFE...thanks


Groupie pic..im a  bit squashed somewhere under Karina..

Ahh good times, HAPPY 18th KARINA SHNOOKUMS!

Im over and ooooooout.
oxoxo Kettles.

Ps: All these 18ths are making me sad..i wanna be 18! ;____;

Yea im gonna rant on a couple of topics, so shoot me.

Our world is crazy, i mean just watching the news creeps me out these days...a father hired a hitman to kill the girl that his son raped...like wtf..><" sorry just weirded me out a bit.

Anyway, yea life is ...quick, i just wanna say that. This year has gone SO fast im still wondering how the hell it all happened. I still remember clearly lying in the Port Stephens golf resort in january and reading a magasine and wishing Bemma a happy bday...now, i only have a month left of school (ONE MONTH) and 15weeks till HSC exams start.

This lolly im eating atm..does NOT want to be eaten, its fallen out my hands THREE times before i put it in my mouth, and when i DID put it in..it fell out! xD

Mmm so yea, so bored. Was supposed to have tutoring this arvo so i went to Kit's (teh tutor) place after school and i was buzzing, msgd him..then rang him and im like "Heeeey..ive been down here for 10mins, can u come down?" And he goes "Omg...didnt u get my msg this morning?!" To which i answered no. "Sorrrrrrrrry omg..so sorry im really sick i cant get outta bed" ...bleh lol..trecked it to his place for nooooothing. >_> SO i just caught a 400 home - - sigh waste of time, could've gone shopping..eheh but thats tomorrow.

Speaking of to-fricken-morrow, ST CLARES DAY..HA HA HAAAAAAAAAA! Wat a total joke. Lol, sorry to all the Yr11s but..dears, it sounds like shit. Cmon, we dun even have a proper school atm with all the building going on. So this is the plan for tmr.
8:30-9:30 ish..probably have home room and stuff then probs have recess
and then who knows.. have The house challenges which consist of making the Peace Prayer of St Francis into a 60s rock song..makes me crack up everytime and goes a lil sumthing like this "Make me a channel of your peace, -peace peace peace peace peace peace peace..where there is hatred let me sow your love, love love love love love love love...oh god..lol the irony.
Then we'll having a fricken 2hr mass at the church near our school..*YAWN* im so over chuch and religion and praying and shit..im sorry, take no offence because its a personal view. I have no problem with anyone who believes in God and goes to chuch every week etc so i choose to just dissasosiate(sp?) myself with religion/ christianity altogether. What pissses me off however are people who go around saying theyre christian and talking the talk..but they dont practise what they preach, or pretend to be somebody theyre not. 

Today I was helping chistina making the formal tickets in the office while everyone else was practising their house challenge singing..haha *points and laughs* and we were just chatting for about an hour about stuff...friends mostly. And it got me to thinking about how un-close we are with our friends, even the ones we call our close frends. Like...we dont know a lot about eachother. I want to be honest with people, im soooooooo sick of lying to my frends and covering for people,,,i just dont CARE nemore, but im sure the other people still do. I was so close to just telling her everything...but then i stopped. My sentences kept starting in "Ahh chrissy...*voice trails off* hmm newais, we made about 200+ tickets. *smiles proudly* We saw the progress..progressing lol felt gooood.

Yea..i cbf writing anymore. This is the most ive written in a long long time. Time to go find baby fotos!! See chrissy im a gooooood girl! lol...

tooooooodles.
xoxokettles~

Time: 1:17am
Status: Playing yahoo pool....and getting owned...ahh memories.
Feeling: Defeated, tired..cold as usual
Wanting: To be back in Rei's bed..grrrr..so warm!
Itunes: Ray-J: Lets Play House.

What a lonnnnnnnnnng looooooong day...
omg..cant write. reis calling me to go to bed..lol

write tmr!

I think im pregnant.

coz like.............................im fat.

ha........gnytea.

i cant realllly see righhht now. mmm.

Time: 146'
Status: Chattting aka. boredom
Feeling: Shit cold!
Itunes:There It Go- Juelz Santana

Fukn Yeeeeee-haaa...lol

Im finally done with this new experimental layout. I took my goddamn time doing it too...oh well, its holidays and ive got heaps of spare time...nothing better t0 do...well...study is good..but do i wanna do it? Nupppps!

Ahh...poor neglected blog. *pats* Dun worri...ill use you more often from now on...ill use you so much you'll be all worn looking, ripped and torn..lol...all that stuff.

Yeah, I was considering taking down the post below...but i wont, itll serve as a reminder of what i might have to do in the future.
Its like 2am..fuk..should sleep, its my bros bday 2day.

HAPPY 2nd BDAY GREG!!!
 
Mr Lipstick eater

I gotta wake up early...im talking earlier than 10am...O_O" lol...we're going to fox with him and taking him to the kid's place...opposite the big bookshop. Massive kids playgroud..where me and mum can just sit and relax and sip our cappucinnos. xD

Then ill probably catch a movie with Reiness...yupp, then treck it home for the celebrations at night.

Mmmmm..sleeeeeeeeeep sounds good....so does a nice warm bed. Im sold!

Overnout
xoxokettles~

I JUSTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT dont get some people.....

Fuck,  youd think after being friends with someone for a long time that they would trust you enough to tell you anything...but i guess thats not the case. What fucking ever...im sick of the lies, the secrecy and the bullshit...

I dont judge my friends! ..correction, i dont judge my friends if theyre honest with me and not constantly playing games and pretending to be someone that theyre most definately not!

watever..

Im sick of lying to people...im sick of covering for people...im sick of all the secrecy, the little stupid games we play behind peoples backs. We're all close friends and we need to ACT like it..its basically the end of yr12 already...its about time...
I'd love to just be able to tell me friends anything and not have them judge me, I want us to be open...i dont care what people think anymore. Its gotten too far..and i just cant keep it in ..anymore.

Im not sure if my friends will ask me what im going on about...but if they do, this time im just gonna tell them everything...

I should go to sleep...aw man...school in 1day.../wrist.

I decided not to waste my time sitting at home 2dai, called up Rei in the morning and we decided to meet up at Kingsford for lunch+some free easyway.

Ivy rang up coz she saw us walk by while she was at her brothers work when sam was getting his hair done..so we agreed to meet up later in the city to shop.

Me n rei got our stationary shopping done, i bought books for school *stabs HSC with a pitchfork* and headed to David jones. I need shoes for my dresses..and ivy came while we were there. Poor girl wants to find a dress now..lol and she doesnt know what she wants. Well, we wandered aimlessly around DJs, then myer with no luck..dresses were shit. Found some amazingly pretty dresses in a shop near myer cant remember the name, shame they were so expensive..yea..everything i like is expensive dammit..haha thats life. xD Wandered around QVB went to the top lvl and examined the queen n imagined how those gold and purple crowns would look adorning our heads. mmmm....anyway..no luck.

We were soooooooo fkn tired and ivys keds were killing her heels and she wobbled when she walked...hhahaha Rang up Sam and he'd finished his exam so we all made our way down to town hall and met up with him..much hilarity involving a big mac+ivy+rei equalled in ivy stuffing 4bux into reis jeans and refusing to get it back.

lol..me and rei left after that and walked to priceline coz i neeeeeeeded stuff eg:brush, toothbrush, elastics, etc etc..Ate, then bused it home.

Walk in the door 2getha..rei takes off his shoes and as i was taking off mine..i was holding onto the crack of a door (where the hinges are) and rei decided to SHUT the door at that exact moment....FUCK! Got 4fingers slammed in the door and ended up with an icepack and mascara running down my face..>_> grrrrr...

Over n out.

xoxok8